


New Frontier

by orphan_account



Category: Rock Music RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 08:26:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14516349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Driven from England by a disapproving father, young Bruce Dickinson makes his way to eastern Tennessee and has a chance meeting with a solitary settler there named Janick Gers





	New Frontier

CHAPTER ONE  
Bruce the Robber

I cursed a steady stream under my breath as I slipped through the thick underbrush as quietly as I could. I knew there were Indians in this area but at the moment my main goal was to elude my all-too-white pursuers. My long hair caught in the brush and I quickly gathered it, tucking it beneath the collar of my buckskin shirt. All this trouble for such a small reward. I had been counting on there being a much bigger cache of coins in that satchel, if I had known it would be so scanty I wouldn't have bothered robbing the wagon at all. Just my luck I'd caught it on it's return to Elizabethton - the payroll had already been delivered to the timber camps down the river and the few coins the driver carried had only been tokens being sent back east by the loggers to relatives . I almost felt regret for having taken them but the driver had practically thrown the satchel at me when he saw I carried not only a flintlock but a sword as well. Frontier robbers seldom carried a sword, but my sword was one thing I would not part with. It was the one thing remaining of what I had left behind in England.

When I automatically grabbed at the satchel he threw, the driver had suddenly whipped the reins and the wagon bolted forward. I didn't care, the robbery was successful. Or so I had thought until I opened the leather pouch and found only a dozen small coins. And now that fool of a driver had apparently run into someone on the trail not long afterward, because there was no mistaking the sound of riders on the trail below the bluff where I hid. Whether they were the law or simply other travelers was of no concern, they were searching for me. 

I caught snatches of their conversation from where I crouched. "....must be the same one that robbed that merchant in Sevierville last month. They said he had long brown hair too."

"Yeah, and he was an Englishman too." another voice chimed in. "Sheriff, you want us to ride up that ridge and scout it out?"

I froze. They had to mean the ridge where I was hiding. I let out my breath with relief when the one addressed as Sheriff spoke again. "Nah, it's to thick up there, and nobody in their right mind would be hiding up there anyway. Too damned steep."

I smiled to myself. Maybe they couldn't have climbed it, but I could and I did. I was relieved to hear them ride away. I was still in a bad situation, though. There had been a sheriff in this party and that meant he would alert all the locals there was a robber nearby. I waited a good half hour before I carefully crept back down to the roadway, listening carefully for any indication that the men were returning. Keeping to the edge of the road I started walking west, opposite town and opposite the direction the men had ridden. I had no place to go now, I had to just stay out of sight until I could get away from that area. 

I'd been in America a little over a year and I'd realized right away that the port settlements were no place for me. Too many English like myself there, too many reminders of what I had lost, of what I was trying to get away from. Someone there might have even recognized me or heard the name Dickinson and realized I was the one they'd heard of, the disgraced son of a wealthy landowner, the one who had been forced to leave home because of something I couldn't help. There had been nothing left for me after Father found out about me. I quietly took the valuables I could lay my hands on and slipped away in the night rather than face any more of Father's shame and loathing. But I took the sword that was rightfully mine as blood heir, the sword that had been given to my great grandfather for his loyalty after the Restoration. 

I'd drifted west from the coast during the past year seeking solitude and trying to escape who I am. But the settlements were more sparse after I passed through the Cumberland Gap into the true wilderness, and little honest work available. What little was available, I wasn't qualified to perform. Farming, logging, mining - what did I know of these things? I had been educated in Latin and I had been fencing champion of my school, but these things were of little use to me now. So I became a robber. I'm not proud of it, but one must eat. Perhaps one day I would learn how to live off the land, buying as little as possible, but right now I still needed money. And I had to find a place to spend the few coins I now had, to buy food and if I was lucky, some whiskey.

Yet there was no sign of habitation. I was glad the sheriff and his men didn't return but it was growing dark and I was growing hungry. I had a little pemmican left in the pouch on my belt and I ate a little as I walked, drinking sparingly from one of the many creeks running down the hillside. Pemmican, I had learned, was an Indian food. I'd met a few Indians at the settlements, they had been odd to my eyes but friendly enough, however I knew that if I were to encounter any out here that might not be the case. Keeping that in mind I stopped and slipped into the brush at the side of the road when I heard something.

It wasn't the sheriff and his men, this was the sound of only one horse, and a slow one at that. It was dusk and the trail turned just past where I'd hidden myself so the rider was almost upon me before I could make out any details. It was one man, and he was riding not a horse but a mule, an animal common along the frontier. I knelt patiently, waiting for him to pass, but to my dismay he stopped and dismounted almost directly in front of me. All I could make out in the poor light was that it was a young man with long golden hair. he stroked the mule's neck and murmured a few words I couldn't make out in a soft voice, then he knelt and lifted the animal's front foot, fussing with the hoof. The mule was restless, from it's actions it seemed to be in discomfort, there appeared to be something wrong with it's hoof and the young man seemed at a loss as to what to do about it.

After a minute he let go of the mule's hoof and straightened with a sigh, looking west at the few remaining streaks of sun in the sky. This time when he spoke I could hear him clearly and I was not terribly surprised to hear he was English, his accent was of the north, of Yorkshire or Durham perhaps..  
"You're not going much further tonight, my friend," he patted the mule's neck, "so we may as well camp right here, there's no better place nearby."

Oh, damn it, he was leading the animal to a clear spot beneath some tall pines only a few yards from where I hid. I had actually considered stopping there for the night myself as it was level and sheltered. I watched as the young man tied the mule to a limb and set about gathering twigs and pine cones for a fire. That eased my concern about Indians, at least - if there was danger of Indians this man wouldn't risk a fire. But my dilemma now was how to get away from there without alerting him of my presence. If he reported to anyone he's seen a strange man on the trail it could alert the sheriff or anyone else to my direction of travel. Unfortunately I was crouched in an area of thick, dry brush and I knew I couldn't move without making some sound.

I would have to risk it, however. The young man went about setting up a quick camp with the ease of someone familiar with the act, and I waited until he had lit a small fire and was distracted by digging in his pack for food before I began to creep out of my hiding spot. It was almost completely dark now and I moved with infinite care, taking one step, then another, placing my feet with slow and careful precision. I thought I was being completely silent but suddenly the blonde man froze and looked up, looking straight in my direction. I didn't think he could see me, but somehow he knew someone was there.

"What do you want?" He asked, his voice still soft but oddly enough without a trace of fear. 

 

Chapter Two  
Stranger in the night

 

I stood completely still, thinking that he would dismiss his suspicions as his imagination, but instead he stood with a lithe movement and held up a branch, burning at one end, then started to advance in my direction. This man, I thought to myself, was indeed fearless, then I noticed his other hand rested lightly on a bone handled knife at his belt. Fearless but cautious, I amended. 

"I know someone is there," he called out again. "If you need food and warmth, you are welcome at my fire."

Well, that was a surprise, but then it shouldn't have been. People in this sparsely populated region looked out for one another, I had learned, and extended courtesy to any stranger. I made a sudden decision, perhaps a reckless decision, and stepped out into the roadway into the faint circle of light cast by his torch.

"I mean no harm," I said. "I just want to be on my way."

"It's black as pitch tonight. You are welcome at my camp and you can be on your way in the morning."

I hesitated. He had dug dried beef and some apples from his pack and my stomach wrung with hunger at the sight of them.  
"You don't know me, " I reminded him. "How do you know I won't murder you in your sleep?"

 

"Murder me for what?" he asked with a slight laugh, relaxing his stance slightly and removing his hand from the knife hilt. "A lame mule and a few strips of beef?"

For some reason I felt myself break into a smile. "I am not a murderer, I assure you, and I will accept your hospitality. Thank you."

He turned back to his camp and I joined him as he sat again by his fire. Wordlessly he passed me a few strips of meat and an apple and he watched with interest as I quickly devoured them. Then I saw his gaze fall to the sword that still hung at my hip.

"You are out here without a horse or food, may I ask your destination?" he spoke after passing me another apple.

"What is the next town west of here?" I answered his question with a question.

"Watauga, about two hours further down the road. Three hours on foot." He didn't comment on the fact I didn't even know the town's name but he was still looking at me intently. I returned his gaze. He was approximately my own age, I estimated, and his dark blonde hair was halfway down his back. He his features were strong but in the firelight his eyes looked gentle, they seemed to be either blue or gray depending on how the light hit them. 

"You were going east," I finally commented, "and I know Elizabethton is the nearest town and it's almost a day's ride. Is that where you are headed?" I regretted coming forward now because if he was, indeed, headed for Elizabethton he could tell the authorities where he had seen me, enabling them to track me. Damn my hunger forcing me into a lapse of judgement.

"No, I live not to far from here." he said simply. "I would have made it home tonight if the mule hadn't gone lame."

"You live out here?" My surprise was evident in my voice. 

The man smiled then, "People do live out here, you know. My name is Janick." he actually put out his hand, and I grasped it.

"I'm Bruce."

Janick was still smiling. "It is good to hear an Englishman speak, it makes me homesick."

"You've been in America long?" He had seemed so familiar with the area I was guessing he had been living here a while.

"Since my early teens. And yourself?"

"A little over a year," I didn't want to talk about myself. It may have been good for him to hear an English accent but for me it was always a little painful. I changed the subject, asking him what he did for a living if he lived this far out of town.

"A little of everything. When my parents were living we built a homestead and now that I'm alone I farm it, I hunt, I trade in town for what I need....." he trailed off with a shrug.

"You live out here alone." I knew my voice was wistful because that was the life I was seeking, I just hadn't been able to make it happen. "That must be heaven."

"It's lonely as hell" Janick replied immediately, looking into the flames.

I didn't know what to say to that so I just picked up a stick and poked the fire idly. I knew such a life would be lonely, but that is what I wanted for myself. "If you are unhappy, why don't you simply move to one of the towns?" I finally asked.

Janick was quiet for a while. "My Father built the home I live in and both he and my mother died there of fever. It was there home and now it is mine. One doesn't leave their home."

"I did." I spoke without thinking and instantly regretted it. Janick looked at me sharply but something in my face must have told him not to ask the obvious questions.  
After a few minutes of silence, he unrolled the blanket that had been under his saddle and spread it on the ground. "I only have one blanket, Bruce, but if you do not have your own you are welcome to share it rather than lie on the damp ground."

I felt a momentary panic. I had been damp and cold sleeping on the bare ground these past few nights, it's true, but the thought of sharing the blanket, of lying that close to another man, filled me with alarm. It was too reminiscent of the circumstances that had ultimately led to my being here, the circumstances that had led to my father's disgust and scorn of me. My anxiety must have showed because Janick lowered his voice. "I am not a murderer either, Bruce. I will not rest easy knowing I am warm and dry and you are not."

It wasn't unusual, I knew, for men to share a blanket or even a bed. Even in England if the inns and way houses were full the landlord would often ask strangers to share a bed and it was even more common here on the frontier. I had no reason to feel the dread I felt. This man was a stranger simply offering hospitality and kindness. I took a deep breath and tried to make my voice calm. "Thank you, Janick. That is very kind of you."

I hesitated, though, in going over to the blanket until after Janick lay down. Finally I walked over, lying down on the very edge of the blanket furthest from the fire.

"You should soak up the heat while you can." Janick's voice was even softer now that I was closer and he didn't have to speak up.

"I'm all right here, thank you." I replied, still feeling very uncomfortable. He didn't speak again and several minutes later I could tell by his breathing that he had fallen asleep. I lay there for a long time watching the fire slowly die down. Up close I noticed how the firelight brought out the gold in Janick's hair, how he lay with one arm beneath his head, even how he smelled of clean fresh air, and I grew even more ill at ease. These were the thoughts I had been avoiding, running away from even, but now I realized the thoughts were still there. I moved even further away from Janick's sleeping form but I couldn't run away from myself. I was still the same vile creature my Father had happened upon in the stable with the gamekeeper's son. I was still attracted to men.

CHAPTER THREE  
New Day Dawning

Somehow I must have fallen into an uneasy sleep because I awakened with a start when Janick grasped by arm. It was the gray dawn, not quite sunrise, and he was sitting up at my side, staring intently at the road. After a moment I heard it too. Hoof beats, several of them. Without a word I was up and running further into the brush, conscious of Janick's staring after me in puzzlement. I retreated behind a growth of low young pines, dropping to my knees and creeping beneath them. There was no time to go any further. Five men on horseback had rounded the bend in the trail and were approaching Janick.

"Ho there!" The leader shouted, and I recognized the voice as that of the Sheriff from the day before. Damn it, I cursed. I should have kept going all night, I should not have stayed when Janick offered to share his camp. Now I was caught. All Janick had to do was point in the direction I ran. There was little hope I could elude them now.

"Good morning, gentlemen." I heard Janick greet them quietly.

"You're the boy from just past Johnson's gap, aren't you? Bob Gers boy?"

"Yes, that's me." Janick replied.

"We're looking for a stranger, an Englishman like yourself. Not too tall, long straight brown hair. He robbed a pay wagon yesterday a few miles up the road but he got away. Have you seen anyone like that?"

I loosened my sword in its scabbard and clenched my fist around my flintlock. They would come for me, but I wasn't going to go down without a fight.

"No," I heard Janick say, and my heart almost stopped beating with astonishment. "No, I haven't seen a soul since I left the house yesterday."

I vaguely heard the men thank Janick and caution him to be careful since there was a robber loose in the area, but my mind was whirling. He lied for me, he didn't turn me in! Why would he do that? It's one thing to share a camp and a bit of food with a stranger on the road but why would he deliberately lie to protect me? He didn't know me, and now he knew I was a fugitive. 

The hoof beats faded into the still morning air yet I stayed still, lying on my belly beneath the pines. After a few more minutes passed I heard Janick call softly. "I know you can't have gone far, Bruce. Come out, they're gone now."

Cautiously I emerged, half expecting a trap of some sort, that perhaps one or more of the men had remained behind while the rest rode off as a ruse. But no, it was only Janick standing there, tall and slim, wearing a homespun shirt and close fitting doeskin breeches. I was almost angry that he had protected me, it made me feel even more indebted to him than I already was and the kindness he continued to show made him even more attractive to me.  
"Why did you do that?" I demanded.  
He made a vague gesture. "You have not harmed me, so why should I cause you grief? "

"Because I'm a robber. You heard the man say so, and it's true." 

"You haven't robbed me. Granted I don't have much, but you could have taken everything I do have while I slept, and you didn't."

He was right, I could have. He had slept soundly, I had watched him sleep long enough to see that. But I realized that even if he carried ten bags of gold, I wouldn't rob him. I couldn't say why, but I knew I would never cause him any harm.. I didn't know what to say, so I didn't respond.

"I will be on my way now, I won't cause you further trouble. Thank you, Janick, for the food and for sharing your fire." I started to walk in the direction of the road.

"You're going to Watauga?"

"If that's the next town down the road, yes."

" You can't go there, Bruce, it's too dangerous. The sheriff will have warned them about you. He would probably even have offered a reward of some kind."

"I have nowhere else to go." I was still walking, aware that he had started walking along with me. "I need to buy food and decide where to go from here."

"You can come to my place." Janick said unexpectedly.

I stopped in my tracks and turned to him, feeling that anger again because he was still showing me kindness I didn't deserve.

"Why in hell would you invite a robber to your home, a man you know is being sought by the law? You're being a fool, Janick. I will take my chances in Watauga."

"Then it's you who are the fool. You have no chance there. None. I know those people, I trade there three or four times a year. They will recognize you immediately from the description and send a messenger for the sheriff."

I hesitated, knowing he was probably right. "Then I'll go cross country, head south perhaps."

Janick looked at me evenly. "Without food and any idea of where you're going? And if you don't mind my saying so, you seem out of your element here. No weapon to hunt with, no container to carry water. You speak as an educated man so stop being daft."

Again, he was right. I had left Elizabethton with the expectation that I would gain enough from the robbery to buy food and safe passage south, perhaps with one of mule trains bringing trade goods to the large plantations in Georgia. My final goal had been to reach New Orleans. If I had enough gold no one would question me too hard as to where I was from or where I was going. But unfortunately that plan had failed miserably. I made one last protest, but I felt myself giving in to Janick's offer. "Do you take in every stray you find, Janick?"

At that he grinned, not the usual smile but a genuine grin. "Yes, I do. You need only stay until you make further plans. I ask only that you do not break the law while at my home."

Without a word I turned and walked with him back to his camp. He gathered his blanket and without being asked I doused the warm ashes of last night's fire. Taking the mule's reins, we began to walk back eastward.

After walking in silence for a time I glanced over at Janick. He walked straight and tall, his long hair blowing back in the slight morning breeze. Every few minutes he would glance back at the mule. The animal's foot seemed less troublesome today but understandable Janick chose not to ride him. I am a naturally talkative man and had been unnaturally quiet as of late simply because there had been no one to talk to. Even if there had, I had become distrustful since I had turned robber. One never knew who may connect me with the robberies and alert the authorities.  
"What happened to the animal's hoof?" I finally asked.

Janick made wry face. "He turned it in a woodchuck hole yesterday. It will heal but I have to rest him as much as possible. He is my only mule."

I nodded, though I wasn't clear what sort of varmint a woodchuck was. I knew that a mule was a necessity in these parts, they performed every task around a homestead including some a horse could not do. After we had walked for a little less than an hour Janick began looking closely at the edge of the trail, finally spotting a barely discernible trail I would never have seen had he not drawn my attention to it. This whole region was damnably hilly but we were in a flatter area now with sloping wild meadows by the trail. I had come through here the day before but had been on the run and had little time to appreciate it. I noticed now that it was actually peaceful and serene in the early morning sunlight, sloping down hill gradually to where I could see for miles out across the surrounding hills. The path Janick took us on skirted the meadow and followed the higher area.

"Janick?" The silence was becoming oppressive. I found I wanted to talk to this man, to learn more about him.

"Yes?" he glanced over at me. For a moment I forgot to speak, struck again by how attractive he was. As much as I wanted to deny my tendencies I could not help but admit this.

"Is it much further?"

"Another half hour. "

Another few minutes passed before I dared ask what I really wanted to know. "Janick, why are you trusting me?"

We were climbing a gradual incline among the hardwoods now, the ground littered with broken walnut shells and chestnut husks. Janick stopped and looked back at me as though he, himself, didn't know the answer to my question. "I'm not sure." he admitted. "Maybe because you're also English, you're obviously well bred and educated, and you.....," he paused as if trying to think of how to explain it, "you are not a criminal at heart."

"How do you know?" I challenged, putting one hand on my hip and the other on my sword hilt. His eyes followed my actions but his expression did not change, he appeared as placid and calm as he had since our meeting.

"I don't know it but I feel it, and I trust my feelings. Perhaps, Bruce, you should trust your own more than you do."

With that he turned and continued walking, leaving me a little dumbfounded, staring after him. Not only was he right about me, I was not a criminal and would not have turned robber if there had been another way open to me, but he was also about me mistrusting myself. I had stayed living at the manor for over a month after Father found me frolicking naked with Ranald, the gamekeeper's son, and he had taken every opportunity to berate me, demean me, and insult me until I myself believed I was a disgusting aberration of nature. Before that I had only been following what I felt was natural and right for myself, bedding the wenches but also romping with my male schoolmates and others who were so inclined that I chanced across. I followed Janick instinctively, my mind still in a whirl.

Not long after that we topped the rise and I saw the cabin, Janick's home. It was a small log structure with thick woods behind it but only a scattering of trees in front. Chickens pecking in the dirt below the porch scattered and ran as we approached, and Janick turned aside to unlatch a rough wooden gate, removing the halter from the mule and letting him enter. I stood uncertainly, looking around me. It was a typical frontier cabin, I had seen dozens like it, and this one was unusually well built and tidy. A few hogs rooted around under the trees behind the house and I saw a vegetable garden to the side enclosed by a brush fence. A well and a privy completed the picture as well as a small open-sided structure which seemed to serve as the barn.

"Well?" Janick was looking at me. "Come inside. I expect you are hungry, I know I am. Our meal last night wasn't very sustaining."

I followed him inside, again impressed by the cleanliness. I had seen many homes in the wilderness where the chickens and even the hogs wandered in and out of the house at will and such was not the case here. The furniture was well made but simple and the area was all one open room with a loft above, reached by a ladder. The windows were real glass, a rarity out here where many homes had only greased paper over the openings, and light filled the room. 

After stoking the fireplace Janick pulled a smoked ham down from a high shelf, cutting off thin slices. I sat at the table, and after a few minutes Janick spoke.

"There's a straw mattress in the loft you are welcome to use, and if you would like to wash up there is a washbucket by the back door. Walk around, get familiar with the place." His hands paused in their work and he looked at me, his gentle gray eyes meeting mine. "Hopefully you will be able to stay a while."

Again I was struck speechless, though there had been a time when that would have been completely against my nature. Janick's quiet demeanor was having the effect of making me thoughtful and reflective whereas I would normally have been talking a mile a minute, so starved for company as I was. Following his suggestion I went out the cabin's other door and found a sort of open-air kitchen right outside with a firepit, and boards mounted on sturdy legs forming a work surface. A tin bucket stood there and a dipper hung on a post near a wooden washbasin so I stripped off my buckskin shirt and proceeded to wash myself. It had been days since I had done more than simply splash water on myself at a pool or stream. I even poured a dipper of water over my head and was shaking back my wet hair when I became conscious of Janick watching me from the doorway. I met his eyes, he had a look on his face as though he had never seen a shirtless man before. I hurriedly pulled my shirt back on, not an easy task as my skin was still damp.

"The food is ready." His voice was even more quiet than it normally was and his eyes were still locked on me, though strangely enough it didn't make me uncomfortable. I wrung the last of the water out of my hair and followed him inside where he had ham, eggs, and some sourdough bread waiting on china plates. The plates drew my attention, they were of high quality Chelsea Porcelain from London, my late Mother had a set similar to these. 

"I am surprised to find fine china so far from the settlements." I couldn't help but remark.

"My family brought them from England. May I say it's rare to see a fine sword such as yours here as well."

I had taken the sword off, laying it beside me on the table. "It belonged to my family as well." I said briefly, hoping he would not pursue the subject.

He merely nodded, digging in to his own breakfast

CHAPTER FOUR  
Be true to yourself

 

I found it surprisingly easy to settle into the routine of Janick's home. I was still a bit reserved around him and sometimes I caught him looking at me at odd times such as when I was splitting wood or weeding his garden, my shirt off in the hot summer sun. He would often wander off in search of game, staying out all day and returning with a squirrel or partridge for our supper. I grew used to the fact he trusted me alone in his house, though it surprised me because he did have a few valuables, obviously brought over by his family when they came to America. He had a number of books, which I knew were rare here although my Father had had a huge library at home, and he had a few other small personal items, some looking distinctly non-English. 

We usually ate our evening meal in a companionable silence so I had been there several days before I felt comfortable asking him about them.  
"The pin on your mantle - I am curious about it. I can read French and Italian but I can't read the inscription." The pin was a bronze crest of some sort.

Janick glanced at the mantle in the flickering candlelight. It was late, he had returned from hunting at dusk. "It was my Father's. He was in the Polish military."

"I thought you were English." I was a little surprised.

"My Mother was. Father came to England from Poland during one of the times of uncertainty before the partition of Poland. He was concerned about being forced into a war he did not support."

I had only a vague knowledge of that part of Europe but I had heard of the partition. There had been great concern at the time of an impending war between Austria and Russia, with Poland being caught in the middle. "I can understand that, it explains why he left Poland, but why did your family leave England?"

Janick looked up from his stew, his eyes were twinkling with some amusement. "I will tell you, but if I tell you my story will you finally tell me yours?"

"What makes you think I have a story worth telling?" I smiled back.

"Everyone has a story worth telling, but you in particular, with your educated speech and fine sword. One does not often find the gentry on the frontier."

I opened my mouth to protest being labeled as gentry, then I stopped myself because denying it would be pointless. I looked at Janick for a long minute and he met my gaze unflinchingly. I made a sudden decision to tell him at least some of why I was here. If he chose to drive me away from his home, so be it. I should be moving on anyway, though truth to tell I did not want to leave.

"You tell your story first." I told him.

He laughed softly. "That's as well, since mine is ordinary and I sense that yours is not. To put it simply, Father wanted to own land. He was a leather worker by trade and we lived in a town in the north. There was no money to buy land and no land available to buy. Here there is more land than anyone could wish for."

I nodded. This was, indeed, the primary reason for almost anyone to come to America. He had told his story, but I was hesitant to begin my own and I hadn't decided how much to tell him. I knew I could trust him with much, he had proven that by letting me stay here, but how far would his understanding go? When I was silent for a few minutes, he spoke again in that soft way of his.

"You don't have to tell me anything, Bruce. I still believe you are a good man, whatever your reasons for leaving England may be."

I met his eyes and saw he was speaking the truth. He did believe in me, and it was a rare thing for me. Even before Father discovered my proclivities he had been a distant and harsh man. I barely remembered Mother, she had died when I was very young giving birth to my sister. I took a breath and began to speak.

"You guessed correctly about me, my Father is a wealthy man. After mother passed on I was sent to the best schools and given every material advantage available. But Father.............,well, there are things about me that he does not approve of. When he learned of them it became impossible for me to stay in his home."

"Your Father kicked you out?" Janick asked.

"No, he didn't kick me out, but he drove me out."

"I'm sorry." Janick said quietly, and I could see he genuinely was. "But with your advantages wouldn't it have been easy to simply move to a different part of the country and set up on your own?"

I shook my head. "No, there would always be the chance that someone would hear of me. My Father made no secret of his detestation for me." Janick looked at me and I knew what he wanted to ask. "You want to know what I did that was so terrible, don't you?"

"Only if you want to tell, Bruce. Though it may help you to tell. You carry a lot of bitterness and self doubt in your heart, I could see that from the very first."

All at once, I wanted to tell. I wanted to unburden myself even though it would mean the loss of the friendship I was developing with Janick. "Once I tell you, you will want me to leave. I understand that, I ask only that you let me stay until morning."

"Don't be so sure I will want you to leave. You told me you are not a murderer and I already know you are a robber, so what could be so horrible I would make you leave?"

I looked him straight in the eye, for once not flinching at the words I spoke. "I like men, Janick. I like women, but I also have relations with men."

His eyes widened briefly in surprise but I did not see the disgust and loathing there I expected. "And for that your Father drove you from your home?" He sounded almost surprised.

"Yes. He....he saw me with another boy. He was livid. I think if I were not as strong as I am he would have beat me, probably beat me to death."

Janick was shaking his head in a kind of amazement. "It seems so unfair. Perhaps it's because I've lived out here for so long and am out of touch with the ways of society, but that does not seem such a horrible thing to me. No harm was done, you didn't force the other boy, right?"

"No, or course not. In fact, he approached me. Up until then my only encounters had been at school. I should have refused...."

"Bruce, stop berating yourself." Janick interrupted. "I know what it is like. Sometimes when I go into the towns to trade, the brothels are impossible to resist. We are men, we want and need these things."

To say his calm acceptance of what had been tormenting me for so long was a shock would be an understatement, yet his understanding did make me feel as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Could it be that not everyone would judge me as harshly as my Father?

Janick was watching me, his expression thoughtful. "Bruce?" He finally spoke, his voice hesitant. "When your Father saw you....what were you doing?"

I almost gasped aloud in surprise. I had certainly not expected him to want details. If anything, I would have expected him to try to forget about this as soon as he could.

"What do you mean, what were we doing?" I stammered.

Janick blushed a little then. "As I said, I've visited the brothels a time or two and I know how it is between a man and a woman. But between a man and a man, I don't understand. What can two men do together?"

I looked at him for a long minute to determine if he was serious, and it was obvious he was. Curiosity is natural, I suppose, but his curiosity about this was very surprising.  
"Umm..., well we, umm.. kiss. And suck one another. And sometimes I have even......" I made an exasperated gesture, unable to go on. "Are you sure you want to know these things?"

"I am. I find it.....interesting."

Interesting, hmm? Well, if he was interested I would tell him, then. "One of us puts our cock into the other's arse. It isn't that much different from a woman after that point."

I saw something flash through Jan's eyes in the dim light, but it wasn't disgust. It was almost a look of titillation, but I convinced myself I was mistaken. I was a little embarrassed at having spoke so frankly and I looked down, scraping up the last of my stew in the spoon. "I'm sorry, but you asked."

"I did ask, so don't apologize." Jan got up and took the bowls and spoons to the sideboard to wash later. He seemed lost in thought. 

I stood, thinking I should go to bed. This had gone better than I would ever have expected but once Jan thought it over he could still decide to ask me to leave and I wanted to be prepared. before I could move, though, he returned and stood in front of me.

"Bruce? When did you know?"

"Know what?" I was puzzled.

"That you liked men as well as women."

"In school, I suppose. There were twenty boys in bunks in a cold dormitory every night, and at first it was just a matter of sleeping together to stay warm. Then when I got to be thirteen or fourteen, it became more."

"And you discovered you liked it?"

I just nodded. Janick had an intent look on his face and was silent for a moment but I didn't leave. The silence stretched on and it seemed he was struggling to say something. Finally he spoke, his voice so low it was near a whisper.

"I think......well, sometimes I wonder if I might like it too."

If I had been surprised before, this floored me. "What do you mean?" I finally managed to ask.

Jan looked a little uncomfortable now but he kept his gaze even. "It's just that sometimes......well, the first day you were here and I went outside to find you with your shirt off, washing up, it.....it made me feel something. After that I would watch you chopping wood or something and it affected me the same as seeing the girls in their low cut gowns and short petticoats at the whorehouse. Only watching you, it was stronger. They would have to....do things to get me ready. After simply watching you, I would get......." he broke off then, seeming to realize what he was saying, and he turned away. "I'm sorry, Bruce, I shouldn't have spoke like that. Now it's you who probably wants to leave here."

I felt like I couldn't catch my breath after hearing what he said. I could hear the blood roaring in my ears and I felt an all too familiar tightening in my trousers. "Janick?" My voice came out husky and low but I couldn’t help it. He turned back to me and there was a look of misery on his face. I could see he deeply regretted speaking so openly. I found myself reaching out and softly touching his face. "I absolutely do not want to leave here. " I took a step closer to him, he was somewhat taller than me and I looked up into his clouded gray eyes. Then before I could stop myself I leaned up and gently touched my lips to his.

CHAPTER FIVE  
New awakenings

I didn't know what possessed me to kiss Janick , it was almost as though a force outside of myself took over. There was a brief hesitation, then I felt him return the kiss before breaking away.

"Bruce, what.....?" His breathing was uneven and his eyes held an odd mixture of confusion and wonder.

"Don't ask me to say I'm sorry I did that, because I'm not." I felt as though I'd been struck in the chest by a log and for some reason I couldn't get my heart to stop pounding. It felt like it was going to pound it's way out of my chest.

He still stood very close to me, so close I could see the moistness of his lips after our kiss and the slight gap between his front teeth. He didn't speak and didn't move, then seemed to snap out of a trance. "No, I'm not sorry you did it either."

I relaxed, thankful I hadn't made a horrendous mistake. It was suddenly very important to me to not upset Jan. I could see his mixed emotions warring reflected in those expressive eyes but he still didn't step away and I tentatively reached out to touch his arm "Janick.....are you all right?"

He nodded, swallowing. "I'm just.........I don't know what I'm feeling right now. I want you to kiss me again but part of me tells me I shouldn't, that it's wrong to feel so strongly toward you."

"Weren't you the one who told me to trust my own feelings?" I reminded him.

To my relief he smiled. "I did say that, didn't I?"

Wordlessly I kissed him again , this time putting my hands on his shoulders to pull him closer. I felt his own hands on my back, feeling their heat even through the thick material of my shirt. I had kissed many women and not a few men, sometimes kisses so hot and torrid they left my lips bruised and raw, but these gentle, chaste kisses were having an overwhelming effect on me. I felt giddy and lightheaded when our lips finally parted and I sensed Janick felt something similar. He was breathing rapidly, his face was flushed and his eyes dark but bright at the same time.

"Bruce, these things you told me about, the things two men do together?"  
I nodded, anticipating what he was going to say next. It took him a moment to actually formulate the words, however.

"Can you teach me these things?" He said it in a rush, as if he had to get the words out before he thought better of them.

I felt a sudden rush of blood to my groin so fast I was mildly surprised I was still standing. Janick was stunning,with his long legs and slim hips and that long wavy golden hair. The thought of making love to him set my blood on fire. I had to take a moment, though. This was important, I sensed that, and I had to be certain it was what he really wanted. "If I show you, if we do this.....will we still be friends?"

He was surprised that I asked. "Why, yes, why wouldn't we? I would think we would be closer friends."

At that I smiled, "I hope so! I want this with you, Jan, but I do not want you to regret it and come to hate me for it."

"I won't do that." his response was immediate. "I am no fool, Bruce. I don't rush into things without thinking. I......I've been thinking things about you since you arrived here but I had almost convinced myself I was going mad. I know men do such things together but I.....I don't know how. I only know I want to."

 

I still couldn't catch my breath, my mind was flooded with images of Janick, his long, slender body naked against mine, his lips pressed against me, his....oh God, his mouth wrapped around me! I reached out and took his hand. His bed was at the far end of the room, a full sized handmade wooden bed that had no doubt belonged to his parents. It was covered with a wool blanket and a worn but colorful quilt and I led him over to it, away from the candle light so we were virtually in complete darkness. He let me lead him, his eyes still fixed to mine but I saw no fear there. I saw curiosity and eagerness and a little nervousness, but no fear. As much as I wanted to ravish this man I knew I couldn't rush him, I couldn't simply take him and use him for my pleasure. He was important to me, I was beginning to realize. Very important.

I could feel the nervousness emanating from Janick, his hand was trembling slightly in mine and when I sat on the bed, pulling him to sit next to me, he sat on the very edge of the mattress. The powerful surge of lust I was feeling was quickly being overtaken by a wave of tenderness for this man. He was such a gentle soul, childlike in many ways though he was close to my own age of 22, perhaps even somewhat older. I kept hold of his hand and touched his face with my other hand, brushing back some unruly hair then caressing his cheek. Unconsciously he leaned into my touch and I felt my heart skip a beat. I leaned in to kiss him and this time he returned the kiss instantly, putting one arm then the other around me. I pulled him closer, deepening the kiss and when I felt his lips part I slipped my tongue between them

He moaned as my tongue touched his, just a sighing whisper of sound but it reverberated through me, increasing my arousal tenfold. He smelled faintly of woodsmoke and fresh air and there was a sweetness to his kisses that was not from the meal we had just eaten. When we pulled apart we stared at one another, I could see him in the shadowy light just well enough to see his face. He seemed less nervous now and possibly a bit aroused.

"Will you be patient with me, Bruce? This is very different from the trollops at the whorehouse. They don't allow the customers to kiss them. I like the kissing but I'm not sure what else to do."

"Do anything you want." I told him. "There is nothing wrong you can do, it all comes naturally. If you want to touch me, touch me. If you want to kiss, kiss me. " As I was speaking my hand was running up his arm, pushing up the loose sleeve of his homespun shirt to feel the impossibly smooth skin of his arm. He sat for a few seconds, seemingly trying to calm his nerves, then he hesitantly reached up and stroked his fingertips down my cheek and along my jaw. I knew I needed to shave, I hadn't since early morning, but he didn't seem to mind. I mimicked his movements by touching his face in return, marveling that he had almost no stubble himself. 

He smiled at my touch. "So far this is nice. "

"It is," I agreed, "and we can stop at this if you want to."

"No," he shook his head. "I want to know more. I want to do more. I've been thinking so much about you, Bruce, that I don't want to wait any longer."

Upon hearing that I didn't want to wait any longer either. I pulled him to me again, this time sliding my hands beneath the hem of his shirt as we kissed, and he gasped against me as my hands made contact with the bare skin of his stomach. I eased him down until we were lying on the bed without breaking the kiss, in fact the kiss grew more fervid, more urgent and I felt Janick's fingers beneath my shirt. I moved back for just long enough to quickly remove the worn buckskin, hearing it hit the floor. Janick's hands slid up my ribs and around to my chest, exploring, his fingers running through the hair on my chest. I leaned into him again, this time kissing his jawline and neck, sucking at the skin, licking it and feeling him respond, feeling the added excitement course through him. 

Without a word, Janick slipped off his shirt and suddenly we were chest to chest, skin on skin, and I was running my hands across his back, pulling him closer. Now that we were lying down I felt him full length against me as we lay face-to-face and I felt the hardness of his arousal . Without conscious thought I moved my hips against him, my hardness against his own, and I couldn't hold back the moan that escaped my lips.  
"Jan....will you take off your trousers?" I asked, my mouth against his ear as I nipped at the lobe then circled it with my tongue. I found myself following my own advice by doing whatever came naturally and I was doing much more than I had on any of my previous encounters with my own sex, in fact I was seldom this considerate or affectionate even with women.

Janick paused to unlace the soft dressed doeskin trousers he wore. They fit him well and I remember his saying his father had been a leather maker, obviously he had been very skilled at his craft. The trousers were snug around his hips and he worked them down, finally kicking them off. I took advantage of the time to remove my own less skillfully made buckskins and at last we were both completely naked. Janick seemed hesitant to lie close now so I took the initiative. I ran my hands down over his hips and around to cup his buttocks and after a moment his own hands returned to continue their exploration of my chest. He had not yet touched me below the waist and as much as I longed for him to, I knew he had to do this at his own pace. I kept my movements slow, letting him grow comfortable and relax, and I was rewarded by the feel of his long fingers sliding down along my hips. 

We were both deliberately avoiding touching one another's erections but I was very conscious that he was fully aroused, I fancied I could feel the heat of him and without intending to he accidentally brushed his member against mine. It was nearly my undoing, I bit my lip to keep from gasping at the feel of his velvety skin against my own and I couldn't hold back from pressing closer until our erections were trapped between us against our stomachs. I felt the evidence of his excitement, a telltale sticky dampness against my belly and I knew I couldn't take much more.  
"Can I touch you?" I asked softly, not daring to breathe until I saw the slight nod of his head. I didn't simply grab him, however. I continued the slow, measured movements of my hands across his back until I eased one between us, making my first contact with his member. He was rock hard and burning hot and I loosely circled my fingers around him. His hips moved against me of their own accord seeking more contact, more friction. My own hips were moving against him, I couldn't seem to stop myself, and after a moment I felt his hand snake between us, brushing against me then very cautiously closing around me. He was following my lead, copying what I was doing to him, and I was practically beside myself, I wanted him so badly.

"I am going insane with desire for you, Janick," I murmured, my face still in his neck. "Will you let me put my mouth on you? I won't ask that you do it in return, but I want to taste you, I want to give you pleasure."

He was breathing hard, trembling now with excitement rather than nervousness, and I heard his whispered assent. I moved down his long, lean body slowly, torturously slowly, kissing, licking, lavishing attention on him until I reached my goal. He lay his hands lightly on my head and I slowly traced my tongue up his length, causing him to jump and gasp.  
"Oh God, Bruce!" he moaned, the words nearly incomprehensible from the state of excitement he was in. "No one has ever done that before. I've imagined it, but I have never experienced it until now."

I had very limited experience doing this but I was determined to make it as good as I possibly could for him. Knowing what I myself like, I did these things for him, slowly tracing my tongue around him before I eased my mouth over him. His body was tense, like a thunderstorm ready to burst, and I knew it wouldn't take long. He was moving beneath me, little movements, his body writhing and him trying to keep it from doing so. I released him from my mouth for a second to speak.

"Don't hold back, Janick. Give yourself over to the feelings, let yourself enjoy this."

When I once again took him into my mouth he released a long, low moan and I felt him lose some of the control he was keeping himself under. His hips rose and fell, his long fingers tangled in my hair, and I redoubled my efforts. This had never been something I enjoyed doing which is why I was rather inexperienced at it, but now I was enjoying it immensely, I was savoring the taste and feel of him on my tongue and I wanted more. I removed my mouth to move lower, taking one taut testicle into my mouth, then the other. This nearly sent him over the edge.

"Don't stop, Bruce," he managed to utter, his voice a breathy whisper. "I could never imagined anything feeling this good!"

I returned to his cock then and closed my mouth over as much of the length as I could, using my tongue to trace around the head as I did. This was all it took. With a strangled gasp, Janick's hips arched up from the bed and I felt him flood my mouth with thick warm seed. So much of it! I had never swallowed before but I did so eagerly now, wanting more of the taste of this man, feeling like I could exist on this and this alone for the rest of my life.

I let him ride out the pleasure before releasing him and moving back up to where he lay, exhausted and spent, his chest heaving. He turned his head to look at me and even in the poor light I could see his eyes were still dark with arousal and glittering with a hint of moisture.

"That was....." he licked his lips, seeming unable to form words, then tried again to speak. "I could not have dreamed of something like that, Bruce. Thank you."

It almost irritated me that he was thanking me. I had enjoyed this almost as much as he had and I wanted him to know that. "Will you touch me again, Janick? I am so ready, you've made me so excited....." I was finding it difficult to put words together.

For an answer his hand slipped down over my chest and stomach and he turned toward me, surprising me by kissing me even though I knew he could taste himself on my lips. His hand closed firmly but gently around me and I knew he could feel the slick arousal seeping from me. He began to stroke me, then took his other hand and reached down to cup my balls. He was acting on instinct, I knew, doing what he felt would bring me pleasure, and his instincts were right on point. When he ran his thumb across the end of my cock a wave of pleasure so intense came over me that I couldn't hold back, I bucked my hips into his hand and cried out a short shout of surprise and pleasure as I erupted over his hands and my own stomach. The intensity took my breath away and my vision blacked for a second as I felt the waves flow through me.

Finally I lay back, sated. Janick's hand was still closed around me, slick and warm, but not moving now. When he removed it I felt suddenly cold. We lay without speaking, he lay against my shoulder with one hand resting on my chest but he was not asleep. After several minutes he spoke.

""It will be even lonelier now when you leave."

His words took me surprise, I hadn't expected his mind to be thinking of that but in a way I could understand it. "You need to find a wife, Janick. It pains me to think of you alone here."

He was quiet for a moment. "My Father told me the same before he died, that I need a wife. I think of it when I go into town, I see women there but I feel nothing. No interest in them. Then I visit the brothel in hopes it will stimulate my interest, but it doesn't help. I have to work so hard there to even perform with the women there and they are so cold, so detached from the act. It becomes nothing more than a physical release. I hadn't realized it could be anything more than that, until now."

What could I say? I felt much the same way. Women and the occasional man too had been just a means of obtaining pleasure for me, I had felt no connection to any of them. I looked at Jan. Faint moonlight streamed into the room now that the candles had guttered out and in the softer light he struck me as beautiful. Perfect. I did not want to leave him.

"Among your books I see you have the works of Shakespeare." I heard myself say.

He seemed puzzled by my change of topic and merely nodded.

"Are you familiar with Sonnet 116?"

"Yes."

I felt compelled to continue speaking the thoughts that were running through my head. "Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove." I quoted. I was looking at him, lost in the brightness of his eyes. "These things go through my mind when I am with you. Even before tonight I've felt a bond with you. Janick I love you. I do not have to leave; I do not want to leave."

He turned to face me. "You told me you wanted to get to New Orleans before winter." He reminded me softly, choosing not to respond to my declaration of love..

I had told him that but the idea held no appeal for me now. "There is nothing in New Orleans for me. I know no one there, it would be difficult to find work. I would take to robbing again and probably find myself at the end of a noose. And the worst of it would be that I would still be running from myself. Since my father ostracized me I have been running from anything that had once felt good and natural to me, like what we did here tonight."

 

"If you stay with me I can promise you will never feel like that. You will be safe here. You need not worry about the local sheriff, some other event will take the attention away from your robbing that wagon. After all, you told me you only got a few coins. They will soon forget about that."

"Are you asking me to stay?"

He hesitated, his eyes locked onto mine. "What you said about love, do you mean it?" He countered my question with one of his own.

Being completely open and vulnerable with something new for me but it was easy when speaking to Janick. "Yes, I do. 'Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds'. If I were to continue denying who I am, I would be altering who I am. I am a man in love with another man. I do love you."

He looked at me in silence for so long I felt perhaps I shouldn't have spoken so frankly. Then I thought of the past week I had been at this cabin, of how I would feel such warmth and fondness when watching Jan go about his daily work, about how I would wait anxiously for him to return from his forays into the woods for game. Of how he would smile when we spoke together. I couldn't have remained silent.

"When I met you, when you stepped into the light of my torch on the road that night, I thought I had never seen anyone like you" Janick finally spoke, his voice a soft whisper. "You were as wary as a wild animal but I saw something in your eyes that drew me in and I did not want you to leave then. Now I understand that I loved you from that moment. Yes, I am asking you to stay. And I'm asking you to share my bed, if you will."

"I will. " I felt so much emotion I couldn't say anything more. No more was needed.

 

Chapter Six  
A New Day Dawning

 

Since arriving in America I had wandered aimlessly westward, coming to smaller and more scattered towns, but I had always been where I could either buy a meal or slip off with some food when no one was looking. The only skill I had developed since my arrival was to become a thief and robber, and the skills I had learned back in England were certainly of little use to me here. Even hunting here was very different from the organized hunts my Father held for his friends and neighbors. It had been all for sport there, a picnic and a chance to visit with one's peers. Here, I had to learn to hunt for food. The very next day after the decision was made that I would stay I began to prepare myself for this new life. I was determined to do my share to contribute both food and labor to the homestead.

Luckily Jan had two longrifles, one having been his fathers, and even though I had used firearms before it hadn't been often so I had to hone my shooting skills. We were standing at the edge of the clearing in which the cabin stood and Jan had set up several small blocks of wood some distance away for me to aim at. I knew the lead shot was precious, Jan did not have the equipment necessary to melt down and make his own so he had to buy it in town. I shot and missed again and grew frustrated, lowering the rifle.

"Why can't I attack the deer with my sword!" I grumbled.

Jan laughed softly, clapping me on the shoulder. "You will get better, don't worry about it. I was a bad shot too at first and I still don't enjoy hunting, it's just something we have to do."

"I live here now, so I will learn to hunt. I'll not have you do all the work."

"You already do a good deal of work, Bruce. You can split wood faster than anyone I've ever seen. You're very strong." His hand had been still resting on my shoulder but he slid it down my arm, gripping the muscles in my forearm. 

"Your touch makes it difficult for me to concentrate on shooting. "I told him frankly, looking over to him. His eyes looked gray in the daylight, warm and expressive. "Hell, just standing with you makes me think of other things, things we have to wait until tonight to do."

"I'm thinking about those things as well, but there is much to be done today. Tonight will come soon enough."

"Not soon enough for me." I muttered, raising the rifle again and continuing my practice, hearing him chuckle .

"Me neither." I heard him say softly, and my shot went completely astray that time.

My marksmanship showed no real improvement that morning but I had at least grown familiar with the feel of the rifle. Janick was right, though, there was much to be done to live this subsistence lifestyle. Aside from a few non perishable goods, all we had was either caught or grown right there. Beneath the canopy of trees behind the cabin, I had learned, was a lean-to where a cow was kept and where the chickens roosted at night, so we had a source of milk and eggs. A root cellar had been dug into a slope below the cabin where excess milk and eggs could be stored for a few days and where the smoked ham and bacon were also kept. I had much to learn, but I had always been a determined person and Jan was very patient as I grew more accustomed to this life.

Throughout that day my eyes would constantly stray toward Janick no matter what small task I was performing. I could not keep my eyes from this slender blonde man who had changed the course of my life. Who had, indeed, given me a direction for my life. I would watch how the sunlight brought out the gold in his honey colored hair, I watched as his dexterous fingers worked at mending a homespun shirt, needle and thread moving with speed and precision, and I became spellbound. Several times he looked up to catch me watching him he would smile his gentle smile, eyes warm and looking at me with something I now understood was love, and I wanted nothing more than go over and sweep him into my arms.

It seemed to take a lifetime for evening to come, I was that anxious to hold him. After our meal I helped him ready the house for the night, banking the coals in the hearth and setting the container with the starter dough for the next days bread on a shelf nearby so it would stay warm while Janick took our few plates to the work area by the back door where he washed them. When he re-entered the house I could wait no longer, I took him by the wrist and pulled him to me.

"I've had to wait all day to kiss you again and I can wait no longer," I practically growled, pulling his lips to mine. The kiss was more forceful than I intended but he didn't seem to mind, rather it seemed to ignite him and he returned it with growing enthusiasm, gripping the back of my head to hold me closer.

"If you wanted to kiss me you could have done so," he said breathlessly when we broke apart. "I would have welcomed it."

"Yes, but then the work would not get done because I would have dragged you bodily to the bed and had my way with you!"

His breath caught a little at my words and this time he initiated the kiss, seizing me by the shoulders and leaning against him until his back was against the closed door. I then kissed his neck and throat, already inflamed with desire for him.

"What would you do with me tonight, then?" he asked, his breath warm in my ear.

"What would you have me do?"

"Anything!" It came out as a breathy sigh. "Everything!"

Oh, God, how this man aroused my desires! I had awakened that morning wanting him again but he had already been awake and at the hearth frying bacon for our breakfast. All day it had been building up in me. I took his hand as I had the night before and led him to the bed but this night there was no hesitation on his part, no outward sign of nervousness. Perhaps he had been anticipating this all day as well.

Indeed it seemed he had, because his excitement was rivaling mine as we tumbled back onto the bed. I felt him already hard against me through his tight fitting trousers, pressing his hips against my own eagerly as we kissed again and again, deep kisses fueled with need and hunger. His fingers swept through my long hair, brushing it back as it fell between us when we broke apart for breath, and he kept his fingers on either side of my face as he looked intently into my eyes.

"Tonight can I do for you what you did for me last night?"

I nearly moaned aloud at the thought of it, at the thought of his warm mouth on me, around me, his tongue upon me.

"You can do anything to me you wish, Janick."

"I....I may not do it very well." he murmured, seeming a bit embarrassed by his words.

"No matter, because it will be you doing it. That's all I want, that's all it will take for it to be good."

As we were speaking his fingers had been busy at the lacings of my trousers. They were loosened now and I quickly slipped them off, tossing my shirt off as well.  
"Take your clothes off," I urged him. "I want to see you, you are so beautiful!"

A flush colored his cheeks at my compliment but he obeyed the suggestion and within moments we were both nude and both very obviously aroused. "My beautiful Janick," I breathed, sliding my hands down his smooth, pale chest. "I love you so!"

"And I love you, Bruce! It is so strange to hear myself say that, but it's true and I'll not deny it!" With that he seized my lips again in a torrid kiss and I felt his hands move down my back and around my waist. We lay side by side facing one another but a few inches apart and I watched as his eyes followed his hands across my body. His fingers combed through my thick, straight chest hair and traced down across my stomach, working up courage before he finally moved lower and I felt his first gentle touch on my aching member. 

Unconsciously I bucked my hips against him and this seemed to encourage him. His fingers tightened around me and he began to kiss my chest. When I felt his tongue flick over my nipple I gasped aloud. I had never had anyone do that before and would never have imagined I would like it but I did, I liked it very much. Seeing my reaction he smiled up at me and went to give the same attention to the other one until I had to bite my lip to keep from telling him to hurry up, I was so heated by that time I felt I couldn't wait one more second.

Janick must have sensed this, he continued his exploration of my body with his lips, tongue, and hands. He paused only the briefest of moments before continuing once he reached my navel but by this time I was completely undone, I urged him to continue, I mumbled some incoherent encouragements and when I felt the first hesitant touch of his tongue on me I sucked in my breath, certain I was going to finish instantly. I regained control, however, though I couldn't stop from moving or moaning as he grew more confidant, his ministrations becoming more sure and purposeful. Belatedly I realized I had tangled my fingers in his hair and I loosened them, though even the soft fall of his hair against my stomach and thighs was almost more stimulation that I could handle.

Up until now he had been merely kissing and licking but suddenly I felt myself slide into his hot, soft mouth. I made a sound between a moan and a whine, I felt myself trembling with pent up emotion and the need for physical release and I willed myself to slow down, to prolong this because it was too good to end. Too late. Jan began to move his lips up and down on me, following the instinctual movements as old as time and I couldn't stop myself, I reached my pinnacle with a gasp, my fingers once again clutching his hair, my hips raising off the bed, filling his mouth. To my surprise, he did not pull away, he didn't seem repulsed by the taste of me. Quite the opposite, he did not let me go until I had finished completely and even then he lingered, licking the stray droplets, kissing my member lovingly. 

When at least he moved up to my side I grasped him and hissed him soundly, still caught up in the sensations I had just experienced. I kissed his lips then covered his face with kisses he returned with equal fervor, pulling his body close and moving against him. He was so aroused it must have been painful and as I moved against him, our groins rubbing, his body suddenly stiffened, trembling violently, and I felt his emission hot against my stomach and hip. 

After a few moments we both regained our composure somewhat. "I'm sorry," Janick said a bit sheepishly, and I realized he was apologizing for climaxing between us.

"Oh no, don't ever apologize for that, " I kissed him again reassuringly. "I want to give you pleasure in any way possible. It's good and natural, I will never mind when you do that.

"But the.....other," he continued. "Was that all right?"

"Oh, Janick, " I was almost laughed, "how can you ask! It has never felt so good, it has never been so intense for me before! But," I added teasingly, "if you feel you need more practice I would encourage you to do it again, as often as you please!"

He laughed softly and lay his head on my shoulder, his arms tightening around me. "Perhaps I shall. I enjoyed it more than I expected, I enjoyed it very much!"

We lay quietly in complete tranquility, then he spoke again. "Bruce?"

"Hmmm?"

"The.......the other thing you said men do together. You know what I mean.......," he broke off, unable to complete the sentence, and turned his face into the crook of my neck as though he were hiding his embarrassment.

I knew what he was referring to. "Yes, go on. Don't be afraid to say anything you want to say, I want you to speak completely freely."

After a moment he seemed to regain his courage and looked up at me. "Do you think we will ever try.......that?"

The very thought caused a thrill to run through me from head to toe. I made my voice remain calm, however. "Would you be interested in that?"

He seemed to be thinking about what to say. "I will not deny I'm curious. Does the man receiving the ....attention, does he get any pleasure from it."

"Yes," I assured him without hesitation. "I won't pretend it isn't a little uncomfortable at first, but very quickly the both men can get a great deal of pleasure from it."

"When you've done it that way, which role did you take?" His natural curiosity was overtaking his reticence now.

"I've done both. I've usually taken the top position but I don't have a preference, really. " I turned to face him and placed a kiss to the top of his head. "Which role do you think you would like to try, one day when you feel ready?"

He was embarrassed again but didn't flinch from my gaze. "Perhaps I can try both?"

I hugged him to me. "Whenever you are ready. And if you never feel ready, that is all right too."

For the second night in a row I fell asleep holding Janick close. I had never been happier in my life.

 

 

Chapter Seven  
A season of discovery

 

As the days passed my marksmanship improved to the point where Jan took me with him a few time when he went out for rabbit or squirrel. I didn't hit anything I shot but I learned a lot about how to navigate in the woods, how not to get lost and how to be stealthy enough to get closer to the game. Janick wasn't an excellent shot but he was good and we never went home empty handed even if he shot only a partridge or a pigeon. We settled into a routine of sorts and I came to realize that the work of homesteading wasn't overwhelming if one just took it one task at a time. One morning I came inside from gathering eggs to find Janick sitting at the table with an expanse of finely dressed doeskin spread out in front of him. The chest at the foot of the bed was open and though I had never inquired what it held, it appeared to contain Jan's father's leatherworking tools as well as myriad other items.  
Jan looked up as I entered. "Colder weather isn't far away and I think your old buckskins have seen better days. I'd like to try to make you a new set."

I was surprised and sat across from him, watching as he traced out a pattern on the leather with a blackened stick from the fireplace. I had been wearing a homespun shirt and soft wool trousers of Jan's that he had given me in the warm summer weather but already there was frost on the ground in the mornings and I estimated it to be sometime in mid September. The garden had been harvested except for melons and pumpkins just a few days previous. We had no calendar to know the date for certain.

"You can do that?! That would be wonderful!" I exclaimed

"I helped father since I was a small child but I am not as good as he was by any measure. However, I think I can do a passable job."

For the next ten or twelve days Jan worked on the outfit every evening after our supper, even though I sometimes grew impatient for bed. Our nightly escapades were, if anything, growing in intensity and also in frequency as now we were often making love two or even three times a night. I could not get enough of Jan, and for his part it seemed I had awakened a sexual beast in him for he seemed insatiable. No further mention had been made of our taking things to the next physical level, and though I often thought about it I was willing to let him decide when and if he was ready for such a step. 

The weather turned cool and wet and the light clothes I was wearing weren't as adequate for that but I refrained from putting on my worn and somewhat smelly old buckskins. Jan worked by the light of tallow candles and the fire, making precise punctures in the buttery soft skin with the awl then threading a thin rawhide thong through, sewing it tight. I would sit and talk with him as he worked or sometimes just watch him, admiring his nimble fingers and how skillfully he worked, his head bent over the task and the golden hair falling in a curtain around his face. At times I couldn't refrain from reaching over to just touch his hair, brushing it back out of his face, and he would reward me with one of the smiles that made my heart flip in my chest. In my formal education I had studied romance poetry from Guilhem of Aquitaine to Dante and Cavalcanti and at the time I thought it was complete nonsense, that the depths of emotion expressed in such literature was completely idealized and not based in reality. I knew now that the words couldn't even begin to really express love, I knew no words could capture what I felt when Jan would smile at me.

Jan presented me with my new set of clothes after our supper on a windy, rainy evening and I immediately put them on. They fit me perfectly, much better than my old outfit had. We were sitting on a rag rug before the hearth, though I had stood to try on the outfit. I sat down again next to him and pulled him into an embrace.

"This is perfect, Janick!" I was very pleased. "Though I don't know how you made it fit so well, since you never let me try them on while you were making them."

"It wasn't difficult to guess your size. I know your body quite intimately now, after all." he smiled. I knew he was pleased that I liked them so well.

I kissed him softly. "Thank you! You say you aren't as skilled as your father but this is very fine work, much better than the ones I bought when I first arrived in this country. "

"Last winter I made some purses and wallets to trade in town. If we shoot a deer soon we can dress the hide and I will have some things made to take in to trade by spring . "

"You dress the hides yourself? I need to learn so I can help you."

"If I dress them myself they don't turn out as well as the ones you are wearing, my father had those skinned dressed in town by a tanner. But the tanner charges for such work and I only make small items the quality of hides doesn't need to be as fine. But of course we will work on them together, if you like. Even if you are sitting here talking with me and keeping me company it helps me. Last winter I felt so, so alone here." Jan's eyes took on a sad look as he thought back, his eyes always reflected his every emotion, and I reached over once again to pull him into my arms.

"I will never let you be alone again. I want you with me always."

"I will be with you always." Jan's voice was soft in my hair as I held him close, and I felt his lips graze my neck. His arms closed around me and he continued kissing my neck, soft open kisses that made me gasp aloud and want more. "I made your trousers snug," he murmured against my skin, "so I could see this." His hand crept down and cupped me through the soft material and I could feel him smile when he found me already hard for him. "So I can watch you all day and want you. I do want you, Bruce. " he drew back a little and looked into my eyes, his gaze somewhat unsure. "I want you to take me, Bruce. I want you to ......to......, " 

He faltered, unable to find the words. I smiled at him but my pulse was racing because I knew what he was trying to say. "You want us to join together? Are you certain?"

He still looked diffident but he nodded, his eyes locked to mine. "I am sure. I want you to make love to me, united with me."

Just thinking of it set my blood on fire and I leaned in to kiss him. The kiss was deep and filled with the passion that only he had ever stirred in me, I wanted this with him so badly. I had wanted it from the first but I would never have hurried him to such a decision. We lay on the rug kissing, touching, for what felt like hours before we moved to the bed, so worked up now that I cursed the laces on our trousers and we hurried to be rid of them. Finally feeling his skin against my skin I found myself slowing down. I remembered the first time I had been fucked, it was in school and it was uncomfortable, almost painful at first. I refused to cause Jan any pain, I wanted him to enjoy this. 

I had discovered that he, too, was extremely sensitive about his nipples and I spend long minutes giving them attention, first one then the other, as my hand massaged his balls softly. He was squirming beneath me, his breath coming in little pants and his eyes glazed with lust in the dim firelight. At last I moved down his body, down the creamy smooth skin of his chest and stomach to the treasure I craved, lavishing kisses on every inch of skin I passed until I took him into my mouth. 

"Bruce...." Jan moaned, "Bruce, don't tease me! I want more of you, I want you inside me!" Jan's words were frantic whispers as I let my tongue circle around him and taste him.

I couldn't wait any longer, I had to have him, and soon! I let my fingers slip lower and lower on him, touching him where no one ever had, preparing him as best I could for this experience. I was perhaps too eager, when I first began to enter him his eyes widened and I saw a flash of pain there. I stopped moving, letting him become accustomed to me, kissing him almost frantically and relishing his return kisses as all the time I was conscious of the heat of him surrounding me, nearly driving me mad. Finally he moved, raising him hips to indicate I should continue, so I did but very slowly, enjoying the prolonged torture of wanting to thrust into him hard and fast but unwilling to for fear of hurting him. 

We were together fully now and I looked at him, my face mere inches above his own. "Are you alright?" I whispered.

He nodded slightly. "Yes, yes....it's just so strange....."

"It will feel better soon, I promise you. " As I was talking I reached between us and closed my fist around him, earning a low moan as he instinctively moved his hips into my touch. I began to move then, long slow strokes, nearly out then all the way in, and I saw the trepidation in his eyes turn into pleasure and lust. Soon he was meeting my thrusts and I increased the speed of my hand on him, feeling him come closer and closer to his release. His legs were wrapped around my thighs, those long, lean legs , squeezing me, pulling me closer as he let out soft little sounds of pleasure. I forced myself to hold back, though I felt I would finish at any moment, holding back until I felt him begin to tremble all over, then thrust up violently with a small wail, spilling himself in my hand and between our bodies.

It was too much for me, my orgasm came upon me so hard and so fast I wasn't prepared for it, I shouted out with pure joy and clutched his hips, arching back as the sensations shot through me like a thunderbolt. I thought it would never end, then I finally fell exhausted to the bed beside Jan breaking our union but I immediately clasped my arms around him. It took me a minute before I could speak, my mind was still reeling from the force of my orgasm.

"Are you all right, did you like it?"

He smiled and glanced down at our sticky bellies. "Need you ask? It was odd at first, but then it seemed that you touched something within me, there was an area you touched.....it was unbelievable!"

I nodded. I knew what he was referring to and how sensitive that area could be in a man. "Then you are not sorry we've done this?"

"No, no I wanted this. I wanted to feel joined to you."

"We are joined, we have been even before this. But I know what you mean, this bonded us physically as well as in our hearts. We truly are one now."

"Yes," Jan breathed, and I felt so humbled by the look on his face. It was a look of wonder and love.

 

CHAPTER EIGHT  
The warmth from within

I came to fully appreciate the value of a mule when we started laying in wood for the winter. We went back into the woods behind the cabin gathering both deadfall and cutting trees with a two man bucksaw. Then we would attach ropes to the logs and the mule would drag them home where we would cut them smaller then split them. It took us several weeks until Jan felt we had enough to heat us through the coming winter and by that time the winter was almost upon us. I had spent the previous winter in Norfolk, where the ship I'd arrived on had come to port. I still had a little money that I'd brought from home so I spent the winter in some comfort staying at a rooming house, though by spring I had almost no money left. By spring I knew I had to get further away from the crowds of the cities, I wanted to get away from the English voices and all the reminders of everything I had once known.

I had arrived on the American shores in autumn but I hadn't appreciated it then. Now I saw how much beauty there was around me as the trees turned bright gold and scarlet, then the leaves fell. There were clear, bright days before the first snow and Jan and I worked together making winter preparations for sheltering the animals and storing the last of the vegetables grown over the summer. Beans were strung on twine and hung from the ceiling of the root cellar, potatoes were stored in a wood-lined hole in the root cellar floor, and the squash and melons were laid out on a cool corner. 

One day Jan announced we would have to kill one of the half-wild hogs that ran free in the woods feasting on nuts and roots. There were several, though Jan's parents had only brought a pair of young piglets with them to the homestead ten years before. I wasn't averse to slaughtering the hog but it was a messy business hanging it to bleed out then carving the meat and fat we needed from it. It took us from dawn until dusk and when we finished we were working by torchlight in the cold twilight. Before we could go to rest, though, we had to dispose of the carcass or, Jan told me, it would attract bears so we roped it behind the mule and dragged it for nearly a mile to pitch over a small ridge. As we led the mule back home by the light of Jan's torch I heard for the first time the chilling yowl of what Jan told me was a panther, which was a horrible sound that sent chills up my spine.

"It won't bother us," Jan assured me. "It will be eating the remains of the hog, in fact that is probably what attracted it. We almost never have panther here. This year we haven't even had trouble with bears."

I was thankful for that. I feared little in this world but I was unused to these animals, they were large and dangerous and I preferred to never encounter them. That night we were exhausted to the bone when we tumbled into bed and for the first time we did not make love, though there were many kisses exchanged. We had worked well together that day and though I had no experience with the tasks we undertook I knew I had undertaken them well. It gave me an unexpected sense of purpose, of pride even, to feel I was contributing to our winter survival.

Several days later I shot a deer. I had been accompanying Jan on his morning hunts and though I had seen a number of deer and shot at a couple, I was truly astonished when I finally hit one. It ran a bit then fell dead. Jan had been some distance away perched in a tree and the edge of a meadow where the deer gathered but upon hearing my shot he came to investigate and couldn't have been more pleased. It was a large deer, a buck with a good rack of antlers, and I helped Jan dress it out, cut it into quarters, and haul it home on a makeshift travois. Jan skinned it so that the hide was almost intact and I knew he would make good use of it.

 

Winter arrived gradually but once it did we experienced a few serious snow storms. Other than going out for the necessary chores, Jan and I spent our time sitting by the hearth. I had begun to read some of his books and he worked on dressing the deer hide then preparing to make wallets and purses from it. There was enough, he told me, to make several wallets which he could sell in exchange for the staple foods we would need to replenish come winter's end. But my favorite times were when we would sit there arm in arm, talking together, enjoying our closeness.

I learned more about my Janick every day and for everything I learned, I loved him more. He told me what he remembered from his early childhood in England, stories of the struggle his parents had in adapting to life on a homestead, and the winter his mother died. She had pneumonia and then a high fever set it. She passed suddenly, he said, and though he was in his mid teens he told me he really didn't understand, he hadn't been able to accept it. He and his father became closer then, he told me, then it seemed to occur to him that hearing that may make me feel badly because of my tumultuous relationship with my own father.

"Some men aren't meant to be fathers, I believe." he told me. We were lying together on the hearth rug, my head resting on the tanned deer hide and his head resting on my chest. "It's unfortunate that yours was not, it seems, and it was very unfair to you."

"He was a proper father to my sister," I reminded him. "I used to resent her for that, which was not fair. Perhaps he simply wasn't meant to have a son."

Jan was quiet for a while and we listened to the fire crackle, feeling an occasional draft as the wind blew around the cabin, then Jan spoke, his voice quiet. "Does it pain you to realize that as long as you and I are together, you will never be a father?"

The question took me by surprise but I knew the answer without having to give it much thought. "No, not at all. I could never envision myself with a wife and family. But does it bother you?"

"No." He seemed not to have to ponder the question either. "I have all the family I need in you."

I stroked his hair and kissed the top of his head. He was right, we needed no one else, though it was inevitable that we would have some contact with people. More and more people were moving in to this area, the country was pushing further and further west. I wasn't sure what to feel about that. We had agreed to pass ourselves off as cousins since we were both English and it was unlikely anyone would learn of the true nature of our relationship, but I did not relish the idea of any more contact with people than necessary. Hopefully that would not happen for some time to come.

Jan's hand was moving across my chest as we lay there, the laces on my shirt were open and his hand dipped inside. He always seemed fascinated with my body hair, his own body was so smooth and fair with very little hair. And I, in turn, loved the feeling of him playing with my chest, his hands were always gentle even when he was very excited. It was warm where we were lying, we had a roaring fire going, and neither of us wanted to get up and move over to the chilled bed. Jan moved up slightly to be at level with me and he kissed me.

"Let's make love right here. Maybe sleep here all night."

I chuckled, "It will be freezing cold once the fire dies, we will be warmer sleeping in the bed and more comfortable. But as for making love, I will make love to you any place and at any time, and gladly." I returned his kiss then and as always it fueled his desires. My Jan had a veracious sexual appetite and over the past few months we had been together he had grown confidant, he would in initiate our lovemaking as often as I would myself. Though we didn't always go as far as to actually join together, anything we did together was beyond any other sex I had ever had. I knew it was because of the emotional element, the physical aspect was only part of it.

He had lifted the hem of my shirt now and way laying soft kisses across my belly. I loved to watch his face as he made love, it was as though he was transported to another place, a world inside his own mind where the sensations were magnified and nothing else existed. His nimble fingers were unlacing my pants now, working them down over my hips carefully because I was fully aroused and they fit rather tightly. With a sighing moan he nuzzled into my groin, nipping lightly at my balls, swirling his tongue around the base of my member before engulfing me in the moist heat of his mouth.

Jan was good at this, very good. He quickly learned what I enjoyed and would tease me mercilessly, bringing me to the very edge then slowing down, giving gentle light kisses before he built me up again. After a few minutes of this I was beside myself with want and he knew it. He moved back up to kiss me, smiling because he knew the state I was in, then he stripped off his own clothes. The sight of his lean, pale body in the firelight was a beautiful sight indeed and I reached for him but he gently pushed me back down.

"Patience, Bruce. I would like to try something, if you're willing."

"I'm willing to do anything for you and you know it full well!" I practically growled, reaching for him again but he restrained me with his hands on my shoulders. Swinging one long leg over me he was suddenly sitting on me, then he moved up to slowly embed himself on my erection. We had not done it this way the few other times we had gone this far but now I didn't understand why we hadn't. I watched as he sat upright on me, the expression on his face alone almost enough to bring me to orgasm, then he began rocking his hips against me, moving on me until I was almost out only to lower again. 

We had both learned the angle to use to stimulate the area inside him that caused him extreme pleasure and he angled his hips until I could tell he had found it. He was so hot, his body so beautiful, his expression so sensual that I knew I couldn't hold out long. I pulled him down for a kiss, feeling his own arousal hot and damp between us, then I took hold of him. With a shaky intake of breath he increased his movements and threw his head back, his long hair pale over his creamy shoulders, and soon my hand was flooded with the hot stickiness of his completion. My hands clamped to his hips I pulled him tighter to me, pumping him full of my own seed.

 

We lay back, unable to move or even breathe properly, and I felt him climb off to lay close to my side, his hand on my chest once again playing with the hair there. "We will have to do it like this more often." I finally managed to say, and he laughed softly. Regaining our composure, we ran naked across the cold wood floor to dive under the quilt on the bed.

The winters weren't terribly harsh in this part of the country, though this one was worse than my first winter at the coast had been. We had a few heavy snows and a great deal of rain and ice but we had plenty of wood for heat and cooking and only a few chickens succumbed to the elements, or to predators such as fox or coyote. From the angle of the sun I could estimate winter solstice and knew when Christmas was upon us. Jan and I celebrated by killing the largest hen, roasting it with potatoes and carrots from the summer's garden. From a shelf high in the root cellar Janick pulled a dusty bottle of brandy, nearly full, and we sat before the fire that evening sipping from it. I had been partial to drink once but I hadn't missed it, loving Janick was intoxicating in of itself, but it was a fitting finish to our celebration.

I looked over to Janick, he was leaning forward stirring the fire, and I ran my hand down his back. He sat back next to me, smiling over at me. "This has been a perfect Christmas, Bruce. Having you here with me is all I could ever have asked for."

"Unfortunately, it's all I can give you at the moment," I returned his smile. "That, and all my love. There is one other thing I've been thinking of, though.”

"Oh?"

"Remember before we first joined together I asked you which role you would like to take when the time came?"

Jan nodded, "Of course I remember."

"Up until now we've only been together with me in the dominant position. I was thinking perhaps we should try it the other way 'round."

A look I was very familiar with came into Jan's gray eyes and I could see he was very interested in the idea. "Are you sure? "

I smiled, placing my palm on his cheek tenderly. "Yes, I'm sure. I want us to be together in every way possible, as often as possible, for as long as possible!"

That night Janick made love to me and the experience surpassed my greatest expectations. He was gentle when he needed to be, ever solicitous of me and concerned at first that it might cause me pain but once he was inside me and was reassured I was as aroused by this as he himself was, he became lost in his passion, carrying me away with him. When he felt he was becoming too frenzied he forced himself to slow down, leaning forward to shower my face and neck with kisses, his hand between us holding me firmly. Seeing him so impassioned was an alluring sight, each detail of his face became emblazoned in my mind. His lips slightly parted, eyes closed, head tilted to one side, he was completely lost in the sensation of being within me. When he at last reached his climax it was with a long, moaning gasp as he thrust his hips forward, trembling convulsively, emptying himself in me. His hand clutched around me and between the tightness of his grip and the look on face I lost all control, spilling my seed as my eyes rolled back and I saw stars behind my eyelids.

Jan collapsed on me, completely spent, oblivious to the mess on our stomachs. His head was in the crook of my neck but I lifted his face to me, kissing him deeply, profoundly affected be what we had just done. While it's true that in the past I had been at both the giving and the receiving end of things,I had always preferred giving. This was entirely different, however. I had enjoyed this as much as any of the other times Jan and I had been together, simply because it was Jan.

 

Chapter Nine

Darkness into light

After Christmas came the worst weather of the winter, with a series of ice storms one after another. We had to chop the wood free from the woodpile and bring it inside to let the thick ice covering each piece thaw. It was hard, cold, miserable work but it had to be done in addition to the usual chores. Everything was encased in ice and we lost a few more chickens to the cold. Several weeks after our Christmas celebration the weather began to break a bit with somewhat warmer temperatures, then we had a week of rain. I went out one morning to bring in firewood as Jan cleaned the ashes from the fireplace but came back inside within a minute with heavy news.

"Jan?"

He looked up from where he was kneeling at the hearth and as soon as he saw my face he knew something was wrong.

"What is it?" He stood and walked over to me.

"The mule is dead."

It was a devastating blow. Homesteading without a mule would make the work extremely difficult even for two strong young men such as us. My gentle hearted Jan mourned the mule, though he didn’t say anything aloud. The animal had been with him since the family had first staked the homestead, it had been fully grown when they acquired it so he didn't know how old it was. The chances were that it simply died of old age but the real concern was how to replace the animal. Between us Jan and I had only a few coins and even with what he could get from selling his leatherwork Jan told me he wasn't sure we could afford the strong young mule we needed.

That evening we sat in front of the fire as we always did but this night the mood was more somber. The only thing to do was to go into Watauga as soon as the weather warmed again and look into obtaining another mule. Jan planned to hurry in finishing up the wallets he had been making but I knew he was still pessimistic about our being able to afford the quality animal we would need. A part of me was resentful that I couldn't be of more help. I was, after all, from a wealthy family yet I had nothing to contribute.

Jan, always sensitive to my moods, put his arms around me. "We'll manage, Bruce. Even if we have to get by without a mule for awhile, doing the work ourselves, it will be all right."

"Yes, but when I think of how I once took such things as money for granted.......having nothing didn't bother me when I was aimlessly making my way through the wilderness heading for New Orleans, but now I have a home. "

"And you have a partner. So don't feel that any burden is yours and yours alone. It is not."

I returned his hug. He was right in both things, we would manage, and we were partners. I thought back to our working together that day to remove the mule carcass from the paddock. We had to remove a section of fencing, rig up a pulley to a tree behind the paddock, then enlist the cow to help us pull the body far enough away from the house to not attract scavengers. The mud helped the weight to slide easier but still it had been grueling work and we had managed it in synchronized teamwork, as we did all our labor. Together, I knew, we would be all right.

The opportunity to travel into Watauga came a few days later when the normal early spring weather returned. It was still cool and the roads were muddy but it was bright and clear. We set out at daybreak, the town was four hours walk from the homestead and Jan warned me we would probably have to camp out on the return. I had not been this way since my arrival at the cabin many months before but I recognized some of the landmarks. We came to the main trail and began walking westward, each carrying a pack with not only food and water but the deerskin goods Jan had made over the winter. After a while we passed the ridge where I had eluded the sheriff's men and, several minutes after passing there, we both spotted some freshly broken underbrush and wagon wheel ruts veering off the trail to the south.

We exchanged a look. "Do you think we should check it out?" Jan asked.

"If we can afford the time." I was looking at the freshly broken trail. It looked to have been seeing some heavy traffic. "I admit I am curious."

We started following the new trail, agreeing not to go far. It opened up into a wide open space after a few hundred feet, a meadow exposed top the south and continuing to slope so we could see a good distance over the surrounding hills to the south. We noticed that only in passing however. Our attention was focused on the activity in the center of the field before us. We could see four men working, squaring logs and raising them to already half built walls of a cabin. It appeared we were getting new neighbors.

"We should greet the newcomers." Jan said. He was right, it was the way things were done here. People were known to travel for hours to visit and greet neighbors here because the population was so sparse.

"Come on, then." I said, starting forward. Another unwritten rule here was to announce your presence as soon as you were within shouting distance because a startled man could easily shoot you before realizing you were harmless. Halfway across the field I stopped, shouting out. "Hello!". 

The four men all stopped their work immediately, turning to us as one. One waved, so we continued forward. As we got closer we could see they were all young men, near our own ages, two blondes, one with shorter brown hair, and one who appeared to be their leader who had very long brown hair. He came forward to greet us, followed by the other three.

Hello!" He seemed friendly enough, and he put out his hand, shaking ours in turn. "We didn't expect to have visitors. I am Steve. Steve Harris."

He was English, as were many of the settlers here, sounding to be from working class London. The other three men came forward now and shook our hands, introducing themselves as Dave, Adrian, and Nicko. All three sounded to be from London or that vicinity.

"I'm Bruce," I introduced myself, "and this is my cousin Janick. We live not far from here to the northeast."

Steve nodded, "I fancied I could smell woodsmoke if the wind was from that direction, " he said. "We have only been here a few weeks, we staked the homestead over the winter but were unable to begin building until now. Then we were delayed by the rains."

Janick spoke up. "Are you four going to farm here?"

"Our plan is to start a sawmill at the creek at the bottom of this field," the one called Nicko spoke up, pointing to a wide creek running along the edge of the open space. "But we will do some farming as well."

They took a break from their work and we sat on logs exchanging news and stories of our ventures, though I was naturally vague about my reasons for immigrating to America. It was good, in a way, to hear voices other than our own though neither of us had missed the company of others. The four of them were from the same area of the city, having grown up together, but they grew sick of the poverty and squalor and sailed for the new world together. They had arrived three years before, Steve told us, and had attempted homesteading in Virginia but had been unsuccessful. He was quiet spoken but had an air of authority, he told us of the plan to start harvesting timber and using the creek to help power a small mill to cut and sell lumber.

"Once you do, I can assure you we will be customers." I told them. How we would get the money to buy lumber I did not know, but I hoped one day to build a proper barn at our place and perhaps get more livestock. Possibly by the time they had their mill in operation we would be in better financial circumstances.

We took our leave of the four newcomers with plans to visit again, issuing them an open invitation to visit our homestead as well. Because of the unexpected delay we didn't arrive at Watauga until mid afternoon. The settlement was much as others I had seen traveling west through Virginia, a collection of log and rough board buildings and homes lining a wide muddy street. I was a little apprehensive since I was still technically a wanted man, but Janick assured me there were far bigger problems for the law to focus on a petty robbery from the previous summer. It seemed he was correct, because no one paid me any mind and I was glad of it.

Our first stop was at the livery stable to inquire about mules for sale locally. The proprietor told us of a few, two of which were at the stables at the moment. We looked them over and one was a fine animal, only three years old and unusually large and strong. Unfortunately the cost of this animal was thirty dollars. We both knew it was unlikely we could come up with that amount. Jan's next stop was at the traders to negotiate the sale of his leather goods, but I told him I would like to explore the town.

He looked at me, gray eyes tinged with concern. "Be careful, Bruce. It is unlikely, but it is possible someone will connect you with old robberies."

"Don't worry," I assured him, "I'll keep to myself, I only want to look."

In fact, I had an idea, and as soon as Jan went on to the traders store I turned back to the entrance to town. We had passed a blacksmith shop and I had noticed a hand lettered sign by the door reading "metal items bought and sold - top dollar paid for rare pieces."

An hour later found me waiting in front of the trader's when Jan emerged. I knew from the look on his face he was disappointed at the price he had gotten.

"Only eighteen dollars. With the money we already have, it still comes to only twenty five dollars. And I can't think where we could get the remaining five dollars." He said with a sigh, joining me where I leaned against the front of the store. We were close enough to one another that no one could see, so I surreptitiously took his hand. 

"I can." I told him, and I opened my other hand. In it were six ten dollar gold coins.

Jan looked at my hand, then at me, shock and doubt in his face. "Bruce, what did you do? You didn't steal....."

"No, no," I assured him, laughing. "My stealing days are over. I sold something." 

He looked at me more closely then, and his eyes went to my empty belt. "Your sword! You sold your family heirloom! No, Bruce, you can't......"

"I can, and I did. Jan, that sword is of no use to me here. It's from a life I no longer belong to, nor do I want to. We need the mule, and now we can buy it."

"But, Bruce..." Jan's voice was still disbelieving, almost sad. "It was your only link to your home!"

I was still holding his hand with my other hand and I squeezed it. "My only home is here, with you. We need supplies, not just the mule. I want to buy some broadcloth so we can make another outfit of summer clothes. We can buy chickens to replace the ones we lost over the winter. We can even buy another cow, if we want. It's done, Jan, and I will not regret it."

He looked at me for a long minute, his eyes on mine. Then he smiled. "All right. Let's go shopping."

That night we had to rent a room at the boarding house in Watauga, it was far too late to start for home by the time we had arranged to buy the mule as well as a half dozen chickens. The room cost only fifty cents, including supper, so leaving the livestock at the stables we ate then went up to the small but clean room. As soon as the door was closed behind us, Jan seized me with a kiss.

"We did well today, thanks to you. I only hope you do not regret it once you've thought of it. You told me the sword had been presented to your great grandfather by the king."

"The king of a country no longer my own." I smiled, then returned his kiss. We had been careful not to show affection in the presence of others, but we were alone now and as it always did, Jan's touch ignited an overpowering response in me. I put my hands on his neck, running my fingers up through his silky mane of hair, then pulled his lips to mine yet again as we sank to the bed. Jan seemed to melt into my touch, his head thrown back to expose his throat to my k+isses, and I felt as though I were aflame as my hands slid down his back. "You are the only treasure I need to possess, my beloved Janick. I value you and the life we have together beyond all else on earth."

"Mmmm," he sighed, his own arms tight around me, "you are prone to flowery language, do you know that? But I love it, and I love you!"

We quickly discarded our clothing and I felt his heartbeat against me as I pulled him close again. He wrapped one long leg around my hip as we lay side by side, our cocks against one another, and Jan wiggled his hips enticingly. I reached down and closed my hand around both of us together, stroking slowly, my blood racing as I watched as his eyes closed and an expression of pure pleasure transformed his face. 

"I want you, Bruce," Jan breathed softly, his hands running up my back, trying to pull me closer though it was impossible as we already touched head to toe. "Want you in me now." It was becoming difficult for me to continue stroking us so I let go and rolled him to his back, showering him with kisses, kissing my way down his chest. It never ceased to amaze me how flawlessly smooth he was and how his skin had a unique taste all it's own, a sweet essence even after he put in a day of hard physical labor. 

"And you shall have me!" I assured him, my voice low with arousal. I found him with my mouth, already so excited I could taste the anticipation on him, and though we were making an effort to be quiet he let out a soft groan, his hips raising to meet me. A few moments later I could wait no more, I moved up over him and let him guide me to him, joining with him, feeling him surround me with heat. He was moving restlessly beneath me as I paused to let him become accustomed to my girth, his hands busy running across my chest and his fingertips deliberately teasing my nipples. His hand then unconsciously went to touch himself but I moved it, replacing it with my own as I began to move. My hair was falling around us like a curtain as I bent to kiss him, and I kept his mouth prisoner as I gradually increased me tempo, giving him moist, hungry kisses, as though I were trying to devour him out of a desire to be joined to him in every way. 

After so many months together and so many nights of making love at least once and often twice a night I knew the indications that he as nearing his fulfillment. The long legs wrapped around my thighs began to tremble and he began to toss his head from side to side in abandon, his breath coming in gasps. Finally his body tensed and I felt him release into my hand. I couldn't stop my orgasm if I had tried, and I did not want to try. I sat upright and placed my hands beneath his legs, raising them higher, and when I looked down to see him looking up at me I was completely swept away with an orgasm so powerful I nearly blacked out.

We left the boarding house early the next morning, leaving before the landlady served breakfast so she pressed apples and cheese into our hands to eat on our way. On our way to the livery stable to pick up the items we bought and left there we passed by a building at the end of the street with several people lounging in front, mostly women. Janick's expression tightened and he indicated with a nod of his head that we should cross the street. It was obvious what sort of establishment this was, I had seen many. It was the town brothel. We had nearly passed by when I heard a woman's voice.

"Oh, look! It's Janick! Janick, come over for a visit, bring your friend!" 

Jan didn't look or acknowledge her in any way but I looked, she wasn't especially pretty and she was older than Janick and I. The girls standing with her all joined in on calling to us and there was a time not long ago I would gladly have accepted their invitations. Now it held no interest for me whatsoever. The slender blonde man at my side was everything I could ever want. 

When we arrived at the stable I poked Jan in the ribs teasingly. "You seem to have left quite an impression back there."

He did not laugh, he merely shook his head slightly. "I'm sorry we went past that place, Bruce - I should have gone around another way."

I understood then that he was embarrassed, maybe even ashamed. I stood closer to him to speak quietly. "Janick, I didn't mean to tease you, I didn't realize it upset you."

"It does. It shouldn't, but it does. Those kind of women shouldn't know my name. I went there trying to prove something to myself and it was a mistake. And you're right, I did make an impression. They remember me because none of them wanted to be with me when I went there."

"What? That's not possible! You are the best looking man any of those women will ever see!"

"Oh it wasn't my appearance. They liked me all right until they found out how difficult it was to.....service me. It took a great deal of effort on the woman's part to........to do for me what the slightest touch from you can do. Please, let's not talk about this. I want to forget I ever went to that place."

"All right," I agreed. I didn't enjoy thinking of him with anyone else anyway, for that matter. "And it doesn't matter now anyway. You were meant to be with me."

He did smile then, his eyes looking at me intimately even though we were in public view and couldn't touch. "Yes, I am meant to be with you. Let's go home."

 

Chapter Ten

Horizons ahead

 

With a young, strong mule we were able to accomplish a great deal around the homestead that summer. We enlarged the garden and began hauling in winter firewood throughout the summer. It was a hot summer for the area, Jan told me, and dry, though our well held plenty of water. Janick told me he believed it was drawing water from one of he underground river running through caves in the area, or so his father had told him when the two of them originally dug the well. 

Two weeks after the return from our foray in town I was splitting wood and Jan was planting the garden when we heard a holler from across the meadow. It was two of our new neighbors, Steve and Nicko, come to visit and to let us know that by the following spring the anticipated their small sawmill would be built and in operation. We spent the afternoon visiting with the two men and though we were somewhat nervous at first, we were soon convinced they were merely being neighborly. Though Steve remained reserved we sensed it was just his manner. Nicko, however, was much more outgoing and a bit of a jokester and related several anecdotes of their adventures since arriving in America. We sent them home with a gift of cuts of dried venison, some of the last of the deer I had shot.

After that there were a few more visits, and Jan and I visited their cabin a time or two as well. We remained careful not to betray the nature of our relationship but, it turned out, we need not have worried. One morning after midsummer Jan and I went to gather blueberries in the open ground down from the cabin and because I took every opportunity that presented itself to kiss Janick, I crept to where he knelt picking berries and circled my arms around him, kissing him soundly. As was usual with us, we soon became oblivious to our surroundings, sitting on the sandy ground and becoming lost in one another until we heard a sound from rather close by. My first thought was 'bear' but when I looked up I saw Steve and Nick standing not a dozen yards away looking at us. It was obvious they had witnessed our rather heated session.

We froze, unsure of what would happen now. Would these men be repulsed by us, would they denounce us to the citizens of Watauga, would we be driven from our home? The four of us stared unspeaking for a long, awkward minute, then Steve spoke. "We weren't expecting you to be so far from the cabin our we would have announced we were here."

We remained silent, if anything more confused than ever. Is this all he had to say after coming upon two men kissing? Then he and Nicko came forward and Nicko spoke up. "I don't know what you two are expecting from us, but if you think we are shocked by what we just saw, you are wrong."

Jan and I exchanged a look and slowly stood up, still unsure what to say. Steve spoke again. "Can we go to your cabin? Ade shot a young doe yesterday with a particularly fine hide, we wanted to see if you've anything to trade us for it."

"Uh, yes, please come ahead." I finally found my voice, and the four of us began walking up to the house. As we walked Nicko talked on about gathering honeybees in hopes of starting a hive, but Jan and I were still apprehensive. Once we arrived at the house, however, Steve lay the bundled deerhide on the cabin step then he and Nicko faced us.

"Do you remember our telling you we originally started a homestead in Virginia but didn't succeed?" Jan nodded and Steve went on. "We weren't completely honest about that. We were run out of Virginia. We were in a more populated area there and somehow someone must have seen something because one day a group of our neighbors came to our cabin and told us we weren't welcome there. And the reason is that some of us are......like you two."

"Wait, are you saying that you...." I was still confused as to what he was trying to say.

"Not us, but Dave and Ade. They've been....together for years, since before we left London. In fact it was they who first wanted to come to the new world in order to be away from the judgmental stares, the gossip, and the constant threat of violence that would have occurred if their secret had come to light back home. Nicko and I came along because the four of us grew up together, we are all the family we have and we stick together."

"So, you see," Nicko finished for him, "we are the last people on earth who would ever judge you two. In fact, Dave and Ade will be relieved. I'm sure I don't have to tell you how difficult it is to always pretend you're something you're not. Cousins indeed!" Nicko grinned, the corners of his eyes wrinkling . "You know, I didn't believe that from the first. You two are too different from one another to be so closely related!"

No more was mentioned of it but after that day the friendship between us and the other four grew and when they needed some extra hands on their homestead we offered our help. They in turn were more skilled in building and carpentry than we were and so they assisted us in enclosing the lean-to our animals sheltered under into a proper shed. Had we not known about Ade and Dave we would have thought little of closeness between the two, the occasional glance or touch on the arm they exchanged, but I am sure they noticed the subtle signs of affection between Janick and I as well.

It was late summer and we were working in the garden one day when Steve hollered to us from across the meadow, announcing his approach. He was by himself, which was unusual, and we both dropped our work to greet him. He got straight to the reason for his visit.

"This morning a stranger came to our cabin." he told us as we all sat together on our porch, "They told him in town there were English homesteaders in this area. However, he's looking for a particular Englishman named Bruce Dickinson."

I was instantly alarmed. I could think of no reason anyone would be seeking me other than in connection with the few robberies I had committed.

"I didn't let on that I know you," Steve assured me, seeing the look on my face. "I wanted to alert you first, but I'm sure if he continues looking he will find your place."

"What sort of man is he?" Jan asked. He was apprehensive too, I could see.

"That's the odd thing about it. He's an older man, English with am upper class way of speech, and not dressed as someone from this area. He gave his name as Graves."

I drew in a breath. "Graves?! White hair, wears spectacles?"

"Yes, that sounds like him. If he means you any harm, Bruce, we'll send him away in the opposite direction."

I was thinking hard, very puzzled. "Who is this man Graves?" Janick asked.

"My father's solicitor. Somehow my family has tracked me down."

"But what does he want?" Jan knew full well the animosity I felt toward my father.

"I think we'd better find out. He's still at your place, Steve?"

"Yes, I asked the others to keep an eye on him until I found out what he wants."

"Rather than him coming here, let's go over there and find out."

Jan was reluctant, I could tell, but Graves was alone so we would be six young men against one old lawyer, we could handle it. It was less than an hour's walk to the other homestead, we had figured a way to go cross country to make it a shorter route, and when we walked up I could see it was, indeed, father's solicitor.

He recognized me immediately though I hadn't seen him on over five years. He had been sitting on a block of wood beneath the sycamore tree by the cabin but he stood as I approached. Jan made to hang back but I took his hand. Anything that concerned me, concerned him and I wanted him at my side.

"Bruce." he greeted me formally, even going so far as to shake my hand. I remembered him as being older, he was probably no more than fifty though his hair was silver. "I have tidings. I'm sorry to tell you your father passed away last winter."

I was unmoved. I had no great affection for my father. "You came across an ocean and half a continent to tell me that? How did you find me?"

"We knew you had gone to America," Graves resumed his seat and gestured for us to sit on some of the other blocks of wood there. "And it was your fathers wishes that you be sought out if he should pass on. I got lucky, I admit. I arrived in Raleigh in the spring and not long after I saw a sword for sale in a general store there. It was your family sword, Bruce. The shop proprietor told me he had acquired it from a trader who had bought it in a place called Watauga. It took me some time to locate that town but I arrived earlier this week and was told there were young Englishmen homesteading out here."

I nodded, still very much on my guard. "All right, that explains how you found me. Now tell me why you sought me."

Graves took a breath and adjusted his glasses, picking up a leather pouch from the ground and withdrawing a sheaf of papers. "This is your father's will, Bruce. I know you and he had a falling out and you left the home abruptly," he looked a little uncomfortable and I knew he was aware of the circumstances leading to my falling out with Father, "but he never changed his will. Bruce. you have inherited the bulk of his estate."

I was shocked, to say the least. "What about Elizabeth?" I had assumed all along that my sister would have been made full heir once I left.

"Your sister is provided for, of course. She has married and her husband's family is quite well off so she is not contesting the will. In fact, it was at her insistence I seek you out."

This, too, came as a surprise to me. I had virtually ignored her my entire life, unfairly blaming her that my father preferred her over me. I was reeling from all of this but there was one thing I was certain of. "I am not returning to England, Mr Graves. Not now, not ever."

He nodded, he seemed to expect I would say that. "You do not need to, though of course you may if you wish. The estate can be managed from America and your assets can be transferred here. You are a wealthy man, Bruce."

"I want nothing of my fathers" I did not have to think about it.

Graves nodded, he seemed to understand why I felt that way. I saw the glance he gave Janick and I knew he had correctly guessed our relationship, considering what my father had obviously told him about me. "You can do what you will with the inheritance, Bruce. These papers are proof that you are the rightful heir." He handed me the documents he held but I did not reach to take them so he lay them on the ground by my feet. "I urge you to think this matter over carefully before you make any decisions, however. Such wealth could be invaluable on the frontier.."

I looked at the papers, deep in thought, then I looked over at Janick. He was watching me, his expression neutral, and I knew he would support whatever I decided to do. 

"Give me some time to absorb this news, Mr. Graves. Can you remain in Watauga for a while?"

He nodded. "I can remain for a week but no longer, I need to make my way back to the coast and obtain passage back to England before winter. I realize it is a shock, so naturally you will need time to think. Mr. Harris has generously offered to put me up here for the night and I will return to town tomorrow. You can find me at the rooming house there."

I was so lost in thought that it was Janick who told Graves we would be in touch and who thanked Steve for his help in this matter. We walked back to our cabin in silence, Janick respectful of my tumultuous thoughts, though I reached for his hand and did not relinquish it for the duration of the walk. Once home we went inside, all thoughts of our gardening abandoned, and I sat at the table while Jan quietly prepared our evening meal. When he served it up then sat across from me with his own plate, however, I looked over at him.

"I need to know your thoughts on this, Jan. You are a part of everything that concerns me and you should be a part of this decision as well."

He ate in silence for a minute before replying. "I appreciate your including me in this, Bruce, but you know it is ultimately up to you what you do."

I shook my head. "No, I need your thoughts. I'm too close to it to think clearly. My feelings about my father are getting in the way."

Jan considered that as we finished our meal. After cleaning up we took our spot sitting by the hearth by the remains of the cooking fire.

"If you really want my opinion, I feel you should accept the inheritance. " Jan spoke at last. "Your father was a harsh man but what was his is now yours by right. If you refuse it, the money will either go to your sister or the crown. And it sounds as though your sister doesn't need or want it. I want you to know," he hurried to add, "I am not saying this out of avarice or greed. "

I had to laugh in spite of myself "I know that, you need not worry." I slid my arms around him, "That thought has never crossed my mind. But there is something to what you say. Something to what Graves said as well, in that money could be very useful here." I sighed, pulling Jan close where he nestled against me, calming my turbulent thoughts with his presence. "I am too confused to think about this at the moment. Let us go to bed and you can turn my thoughts to other things."

He chuckled low and accompanied me to our bed where I caught him in a greedy kiss. He moaned against me as my hands slid under his shirt, encountering his smooth stomach and chest. He, in turn, tugged at the hem of my shirt, pulling it off over my head and running his hands through my chest hair. "Your touch, " I murmured against his neck, "can make me forget anything! It has been a year since we first made love and you inflame me more every day!"

His only response was to kiss is way down my chest, nipping then licking at my nipples before continuing lower. He was already becoming lost in the act, abandoning himself to his instincts as he kissed, licked, sucked and nipped the skin of my stomach, his fingers working the fastening of my pants. I could feel him through his own trousers hard against my leg, my want for him building up as he slid my pants over my hips and found me with his mouth. His mouth was magic on me, his tongue everywhere, his mouth engulfing me until I was making small sounds of need that I didn't even recognize as coming from my own lips. He had become a master at prolonging my pleasure, bringing me to the brink then easing off at the very last second until I thought I was losing my mind. My hands tangled in his hair, I was probably tugging at it but neither of us paid it any mind.

"Come here," I urged him when I thought I could stand no more, "come here, I need you now."

He came up to kiss me feverishly, as hungry for me as I was for him, the kiss continuing until I rolled him on his back and made quick work of removing the rest of his garments. He wriggled impatiently beneath me as I showered him with attention, craving the taste and texture of him, his unique scent was intoxicating to me and when my mouth reached his member we both moaned in unison. Jan was mumbling incoherently beneath his breath, his hands in my hair, and when I finally sat back to position myself between his legs we were both wild with anticipation. He tightened his legs around me, drawing me to him, and when we were finally joined I was swept away, trying to prolong the pleasure, trying to make it last but within a very few minutes we had both reached our peak.

We fell asleep almost immediately but my sleep was restless and I was awake many times during the night. Lying there, I watched Janick sleeping at my side, one hand on my chest and one leg over mine, and by dawn I had reached my decision. If my accepting this inheritance would make a better life for Jan, a better life for us both, I had to accept it. I would do anything for this man and he deserved the advantages we would then have. 

 

~~~~~~~~ONE YEAR LATER ~~~~~~~~~

Janick and I celebrated the anniversary of our second year together with a gathering of our neighbors and friends. We owned a wagon now and brought in extra food from town, having invited not only Steve and his friends but a few of the other new homesteaders that had begun to move into the area, most of them small family groups. Steve had been courting the daughter of one of the families, a young lady named Emma, and Nicko was sweet on a young lady from Watauga called Becky. 

It had been a busy year for us. We enlarged our claim, now owning several hundred acres, and had gone into a partnership with Steve’s group’s sawmill allowing them to cut timber from our land in return for a share of the profits from the mill. It was working out very well. But the biggest change for us personally was improving upon and enlarging the cabin into a proper house and building a barn to house our new wagon, m a team of oxen, and three more cows. 

Jan had been reluctant at first to let me use my new wealth in these ways, he was worried, I think, that I would suspect him of having an interest in my money. I never entertained such suspicions about my Janick, I knew him so much better than that, and eventually I persuaded him to join in a legal partnership with me on these ventures. In my mind, of course, we were joined in a much deeper partnership and I knew he felt the same way. We were joined at our very souls

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE END ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


End file.
